Good riddance, January!

I hate to wish time away, but I am not sad to bid farewell to January 2010...and I will also not be sad once spring arrives! Germs and cabin fever have caught up with us, and that's not such a nice combination!

It started a couple/few weeks ago when Lainey got strep.

Then, last Sunday night/Monday, she got a fun pukey bug.

As soon as she started eating again, she started coughing. The cough continued through the week and worsened.

Friday night, Lucy started puking.

Also Friday night, Lainey was awake all night coughing and crying. None of us slept.

Saturday, Lucy was a pale, listless bump on the couch. Lainey was a pale, glassy-eyed, coughing wreck. Roger and I were wrecks as well. Although she didn't have many other symptoms, something told me that Lainey just wasn't well. So I took her into our pediatrician's Saturday walk-in clinic, and I'm so glad I did, because it turns out she has pneumonia. She got pneumonia last January too. Not a good month for us, historically speaking.

So Saturday, the four of us pretty much stayed on the couch and watched movies all day. By yesterday, everyone was doing better. Lucy was fine and Lainey was improving. Thank goodness for antibiotics!!

Lainey still has a horrible cough, but she looks much better, is sleeping better (yay!), and is acting normally, so we sent her to school today.

Lucy had her 5-year well child checkup this morning and it went great. She's a shrimp like me: 36 pounds (23rd percentile), 40.5 inches (13th percentile). And her vision is 20/25, and given her genetics, she's almost certainly headed for glasses sometime soon. But everything looked great and she did wonderfully (except for the shots at the end, but who likes those?). So as I just told a friend, February is off to a much better start than January!! We'll take it.

Recent artwork

In writing the post for Lucy's birthday, I realized it had been awhile since I posted pics of the girls' recent artwork. So here it is!

Lainey's impressive rendition of a dinosaur, from a few months ago. Not bad for a 2.5-year-old!

The four seasons a la Lucy

Lucy's elephant

Sad clown with mouse, by Lucy

Awesome mouse with cheese, by Lucy

Soldier, princess, and prince going downstairs, by Lucy

Halloween drawing with ghosts and vampires, by Lucy

This is her current work, which we think is pretty sophisticated in terms of perspective and angle. Note the nice work she did with the horse's 4 legs, especially.

People on balance beam, note the arrows indicating their direction of movement

Portrait of Paco, by Lucy

Finally, Lainey's recent drawing of princesses. She's actually far more talented at 3 than Lucy was, which is awesome....overnight, she's doing great at drawing people. Her teachers were flabbergasted when she whipped this out, none of the other kids in her class are doing anything other than scribbling. Cool!

Birthday party!

Lucy's gymnastics birthday party was a great success! In fact, it was so much fun that I hardly took any pictures! Here are the few that I took that turned out okay.

Getting ready to blow out the candles on her awesome My Little Pony cake

On the rope swing

Listening to Ms. McKenzie explain what's coming next

Parachute time!

Happy Birthday, Lucy Goose!

Oh, my sweet big girl, how time flies. How did this happen? All of a sudden you're five years old, no longer a baby, or a toddler, or even a preschooler. You're a child, a girl, a person. In five years, you've come so far.

Sometimes, I forget that you're only five years old because you're so kind, so compassionate, so mature, so wise.

Other times, not so much. Especially these days, you're going through a bit of a rough patch in managing your emotions. You're quick to dissolve into hysterics when things don't go the way you'd hoped they would, but we're working through it and coming up with ideas to solve the problem. You'll get there.

These days, you still love drawing, and you continue to show a real aptitude for it. You also really love horses (and, especially, unicorns), and the ever-present princesses. Your favorite activity right now is to put a crown and cape on Cinder, who tolerates the game with bemusement. You thrive in your gymnastics class (in fact, you just got bumped up to the next level of class) and are excited to start swim lessons again next week. You look forward to reading books with me every night before bed, and insist on snuggle time with mommy once lights are out. More nights than not, you are quietly snoring within five minutes.

You are very interested in the world around you, and ask all kinds of questions about everything under (and over) the sun. You stump me about half the time. You're especially curious about the earth, space, police officers, and jail. You ask lots of questions like this: "If police officers break the law, do they have to go to jail?" and "If doctors get sick, who takes care of them?"

Next week, I'm going to register you for kindergarten. You're excited and nervous in equal measures about it these days, and love to brag to Lainey about how you'll get to ride the school bus next year and she won't.

Lainey is still your favorite playmate, though the days of you being able to boss her around with impunity are numbered. That causes frustration for you sometimes, but I also think the challenge is a good one, because she injects some nuances into your playtime that wouldn't be there otherwise. She pulls you into a more active form of play, and you calm her down for quiet playtime. You're nicely matched right now.

You're kind and thoughtful in ways that surprise me sometimes. You're so smart and serious but also completely goofy. You have strong opinions about everything and are defending your positions with great skill and persuasion these days...you have even persuaded me to change my mind from time to time because you made such a good case. (Future lawyer?) You can always find a loophole. You're growing into a truly wonderful person, and I can't wait to see what the next year holds for you!!

Christmas, Parts 3 & 4

The third Christmas celebration was with Grammy, Grandpa, Livy, and the other members of that clan. The girls had so, so much fun!!!

Sticking close to Grandpa, who the girls just adore. You'll notice that Lucy is ignoring the bag full of dollar bills she got from Great Grandma Gloria in favor of the beautiful dove Christmas ornament that was also included.

Loving the new shades!

Helping Livy with her new puzzle.

The three musketeers sporting their new tiaras, a super fun project Grammy helped them with.

The girls (I believe they were fairies again at this point) check out Grankie's accordion at our fourth and final Christmas celebration. There were 28 people at this one, and it was SO much fun!!!

Snuggles with Paco.

Preparing for a cartwheel. (Yes, as usual, the girls disrobed at every opportunity.)

Mid-somersault.

Lainey struck this pose and ordered me to take a picture of her, so I did.

Finger play with Grankie.

Loving some time with "Baby Shea." The three girls definitely had a mutual admiration society going on...I wish we lived closer!!

Reading with Aunt Kelly.

Sassy and Jim, watching the present opening action.

Cutie patootie in my lap!

Just a general picture of the present opening chaos, which was awesome. Keep in mind, this is only half of the room!!

D.R. and Jaxon, playing the super fun game organized by Granny.

All in all, Christmas(es) 2009 were our best yet....a great way to enter into 2010!!!

Christmas, Parts 1 & 2

We had a wonderful series of Christmas 2009 celebrations!! The girls did just great traveling three weekends in a row. They were super well behaved, slept wonderfully, and had so much fun soaking up all the hugs, kisses, and presents from everyone!!

First up: cookie decorating at home. This was a great project that took us a whole weekend to finish!

This is the table runner I made for MK & DB. I was very proud of how well it turned out!

Christmas #1 with Grankie, Paco, Sassy, and Jim was awesome! It started out with a super fun gingerbread house project courtesy of Grankie.

Lainey and Jim take in the snowy sights.

Sassy, Lucy, and Lyra check out the winter wonderland.

Christmas #2 was our own little family celebration at home. We kept it simple this year. Each of us got something we want, something we need, something to wear, and something to read. Santa brought some small stocking stuffers for everyone and two large gifts for the girls to share. It was just perfect in scope and substance.

The girls were thrilled with their "need" present: child-sized snow shovels!

Getting right to work.

Very excited about her "read" gift.

A wonderful card that Lucy made for Roger and me.

The fairy princesses show off their "want" dressup clothes, posing next to one of the big gifts from Santa: a dollhouse. You'll see these fairy costumes pop up in nearly every Christmas celebration we had...they traveled far and wide. Often, though, they were NOT fairy dresses, they were musketeer outfits!

The fairies play with the dollhouse in the other big gift from Santa: a fairy play area.

We spent a wonderful Christmas Eve with Andy, Emily, Grace, and Louis! We were thrilled to finally meet Grace's little brother, who is absolutely adorable and settling in very well. Just can't tell you how much we love these people and feel as though they're family...we're blessed to have them in our lives!

Yes, the fairy costumes traveled to Grace's house...and she met us at the door wearing her own lovely princess outfit! Great minds think alike. The girls, as always, had tons of fun together!

Reflections on 2009

This has been an excellent year for me. One of my best ever, I think.

*****

At some point, about halfway through the year, I suddenly realized that all the clouds had lifted. All the cobwebs had been swept away. Breathing was easy. Smiling and laughing was easy. Enjoying my children and my husband was easy. And enjoying my life, and myself, was easy. It's the first time in about 5 years that I've felt this good, this happy, this free.

*****

I spent several weeks doing some internal analysis and auditing, trying to figure out what had changed. And I think the answer is, a lot.

*****

We have a new house. I love our house. I love our neighborhood. I love the thought of growing old there with Roger, of watching the girls grow up and have sleepovers and have hangout sessions in the basement. I love how close we are to absolutely everything, but how we're still nestled away such that it doesn't feel like we're in the middle of a shopping mall. I love that we have neighbors who are friends, and that those neighbors have kids who are our kids' friends. I love that I can take long runs through the neighborhood, even at night, and feel perfectly safe and wave at people throughout the jog. It is home. It is home in a way that I haven't really felt since I still lived with my parents. It is home, and it will be for a long, long time.

*****

We don't have infants anymore. For some parents, this is a thing of sadness, of mourning, of looking back. Not me. I found the infant stage so challenging, so stifling, so claustrophobic. Now, I realize that I can be a parent AND feel a sense of freedom at the same time, which is a revelation. I adore my children, I have loved them since the day they were born. But now, I also enjoy them. I laugh with them. I celebrate their achievements and enjoy every moment of newfound independence. I love that they can play together, without grownup involvement, for longer periods of time. I love that they're developing their own interests and skills and loves and hates. I love that they don't nap anymore, which frees our time on the weekend. I love that it's not a big deal to have a girls' night with my friends, or date night with Roger, or even a weekend away. We don't need to give a mile-long list of instructions to babysitters anymore. And although we still have our moments (sometimes, big ones), I love that they can communicate their thoughts and feelings to us...this has removed a great deal of anxiety out of the parenting equation for me. We can talk to each other.

*****

It's now been 3 1/2 years since we lost Tricia. I mark the length of time since her death by the length of time of Lainey's life...it's absurd that such a loss and such a gift can come so close together. I still miss her all the time. I still think of her all the time. But now, the pain and sadness have dulled. It's easier to think of her and miss her than it was a year ago. It's easier to live my daily life without her in it. Life has moved on, and it's easier for me to breathe and smile because of it.

*****

Related to the length of time since we lost Tricia is the fact that I suddenly find myself with a robust and amazing group of friends. It has taken me awhile to really put down roots here, to permit myself to form a social life that has nothing to do with Tricia. But finally, I've done it. I have a healthy list of people who I can call to go get a drink, or come over to play Wii, or vent about a bad day. It makes such a huge difference to my outlook on life. And there are some people in my life here who are not biologically related to us but who are our family in every other sense of the word. You know who you are, and you know that I love you.

And, of course, there's the fact that Sally lives here now. She's been here for over a year, and I can't believe we ever got along with her living in a different state. Ridiculous. She is my sister and one of my best friends and, of course, the coolest person in the whole world as far as the girls are concerned. And Sally has found Jim, who has nestled into our family with an ease that belies the briefness of time we've known him. It's as though he's always been here. The 4 of us have so much fun together, and the girls adore "Jimmy" almost as much as they adore Sassy (but I doubt anyone will ever reach Sassy heights in their eyes, sorry Jimmy).

*****

I have found new, constructive, healthy ways to spend my time. I run now. I have hated running my whole life, and suddenly, I absolutely love it. I hardly ever run on the treadmill anymore, I prefer to run outside in all but the rainiest weather. I listen to audiobooks, breathe fresh air, sweat, and feel the blood pumping in my veins. I'm training for a half marathon next spring (I've talked Roger, Sally, and Jim into it also!) and can't wait.

I knit now, too. I started knitting earlier this year and am now obsessed with it. I can barely sit and watch TV anymore without feeling bored unless the needles are in my hands. I've made some pretty impressive things, too, if I do say so myself. The girls have pretty scarves, Lucy has a hat, I made Sally a wrap, my parents a table runner, and myself some fun winter hats. Also many dish cloths. :) It gives me fun things to think about and plan for, and having finished products at the end of a project to show off is the icing on the cake.

*****

And I can't forget the newest additions to our family, Cinder and Momma. On the one hand, it seems silly to include them on this list. On the other hand, it was a big change for our family, and I think it's all been positive. I just love those kitties. I love how they follow me around the house, how they pick up the girls' toys in their mouths and carry them from one spot to another, how Cinder loves to snuggle up in the linen closet with the clean towels, how Momma can always be found in one of her soft kitty beds. I love how the girls love them, and I love how the girls are vastly more comfortable around all animals since they've gotten used to our "fe-lions," as Lucy calls them. Things feel complete now, somehow.

*****

So it's all of those things, and more, and nothing at all. It's just been a wonderful year. I have an amazing husband, partner, and co-parent in Roger. I have two funny, smart, loving daughters. I have a secure job, a healthy family, and the perfect house. I have wonderful friends and family. I guess my hope for 2010 is to continue and even improve upon the greatness of 2009. Life is good, and I hope it stays that way.